I Changed Jobs While Pregnant During a Pandemic

I know the title sounds grabby and kind of like clickbait, but it's all 1,000% true. I quit my job as a business consultant to pursue the type of work I've wanted to dedicate my career to – Organizational Change Management. Everyone knows the pandemic part (#oldnews), but the pregnant part is usually where this routine career change becomes jaw-dropping.

How could I make such a big change with so much else going on?!

Because it is the best decision for my future family and me. I know this because I went through the process of analyzing the change by separating the fact from the fears and feelings. It's so easy for your needs to get convoluted with others' opinions when making a decision. We want to do the right thing, be liked, and get approval, with the goal of avoiding failure. But when it comes down to it, if you're unhappy or in a situation that feels inauthentic, isn't that a form of failure?

If you're trying to make a decision that will create a big change in your life, here's how you can process all of the moving parts to get to the best conclusion for you.

How to Make a Decision to Change

List Out the Facts

Start by getting all of the facts on a piece of paper. Facts are easy to work with; they're relatively black and white with little room for uncertainty. You need to get them out of your head and out into the world. My favorite way to do this is by making a pros and cons list, dividing the paper into two columns, and listing the bullet points of each. This can be helpful because you're able to visualize any immediate indication one way or the other by the length of the list alone. You can go a step further and mark your top five in each column to give more weight to the factors that matter.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

If we could look at the facts alone and decide, the human race would be one well-oiled machine. It turns out we have these things called feelings that get in the way and shake things up a bit. While shoving feelings down and ignoring them never worked out well, we shouldn't let them dictate our lives. It's all about finding a balance between feelings brought on by fear and feelings that speak from your soul. For example: if I moved to California, I would be happy to be near the beach and would enjoy getting to do more of the outdoor hobbies I love, but I feel like I won't meet new friends (fear) and don't want to move there and end up not liking it (fear). Even though the fear-driven feelings are valid, we should put more stock in the feelings we know are outcomes of the change (i.e. too much stress with a new role).

Acknowledge Your Fears

Think about what is holding you back from moving forward. Are you scared of what other people might think? Is the possibility of 'failing' making your skin crawl? Does the uncertainty of change, in general, stop you in your tracks? It's time to get uncomfortable and face your fears! Until you at least acknowledge what's getting in the way from making a decision, indecision will be in control. If you can put some thought and time into how to address these fears with a plan (below), even better! Deciding not to change or move forward is always an option, but don't fall back on it due to fear; allow it to be a valid option that you can consciously choose.

Talk With the People Who Deserve Input

This one can be misleading. It doesn't mean, ask all of your friends and family to get a wide variety of advice. That will only confuse your more and feed into your impulses to please others. Instead, discuss the decision, your feelings, and your fears with anyone directly affected by the outcome, AND whose opinion should take weight in the final verdict. This might be your partner, your children, or your team at work. It also might just be you. Be picky about who gets a say in what happens in your life.

Determine If and How You Can Address Your Fears

If you're feeling vulnerable about your decision, see if you can find ways to address that. In switching jobs, for example, a big move might be required of you and your family. Even if it's to the most magical city ever, uprooting your life, especially with kids, can be tricky. Instead of taking the move itself as a fact, see what you can do to ease the discomfort around it – ask for moving assistance, negotiate a moving bonus, ask for contacts of daycares/schools in the area, and reach out to employees at the new company who also have kids. No matter what makes you feel vulnerable about the change, there is usually a way to help. If not, then maybe that's an indication that now is not the time for a change.

Decide

Mulling over the decision for weeks and weeks only leads to increased stress levels and undue pressure. More often than not, your gut knows the answer. You just need to be willing and able to listen. Separate your feelings and needs from all those that are external and look at the facts. You won't feel 100% confident or sure of the outcome. Instead, focus on achieving 80% - is the final decision at least 80% positive? That's the sweet spot! The 20% is usually made up of your fears and the feelings of discomfort that come with them, especially when not all of the facts point to one answer. Give yourself a deadline and take the leap as soon as you get to that magical 80%. If you can't get there after honing in on the facts, it's likely not the time to make the change.

You've got this! Trust yourself and focus on what is best for YOU.